The 90 Day Purification

Many people have noticed that the words that we use to express a situation actually colors how we will feel about a situation.

How is this so? Every word we use has a file in our subconscious. This file contains more than just it’s meaning, but every feeling, event, and situation that has been associated with that word. In other words, the search function is not very refined. We get so many results.

When we use a particular word to describe an experience, it begins to incorporate additional flavoring to the story. This in turn will shade our perception of what happened.

It’s not just the words either, it’s the tonality we use, the rate of speech, our body language, etc. All of these contribute to the feeling we’ll have about an event. That feeling will inform our perception and shape what behaviors we will take in response to that.

Have you ever noticed that people who use words like broken, overwhelmed, crushed, destroyed, tired, drained tend to feel that way?

Folks who virtually never use these words typically won’t ever feel this way either.

You might say “It can’t be as simple as that.” But rather than speculate, let’s test the theory.

Each time you say that you’re going to do something that you don’t, you not only lose credibility in the eyes of the other person. You lose confidence in yourself.

When you don’t say what you think, rather, you say what you think will get a better result, you’re not only lying to the other person, but to yourself as well. Thusly, you diminish how much you believe in yourself.

This goes with lying, exaggeration, and so forth.

People who complain often feel more frustrated and in conflict than others.

With respect I’d like to offer a challenge to you. Experiment with it, and see how you feel.

The 90 Day Purification

For 90 Days I will not:

-Say I will do something and don’t
-Say something that is untrue
-Say something that is an exaggeration
-Talk about my traumas(Unless to a therapist or trained professional)
-Complain
-Speak in self-deprecating terms
-Insult myself
-Insult others
-Use words that describe being broken, destroyed, exhausted, drained, overwhelmed etc
-Mock people
-Think about my painful story or relate it outside of professional therapy sessions

For 90 Days I will:
-Say what I think and do what I say
-Think about my enemies in the same way I would consider my dearest loved ones if they committed the same actions.
-Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds before having a difficult conversation.
-Before speaking pause and ask myself if what I am about to say will bring a desired result
-Start my day thinking about what you’d like to accomplish
-Finish my day feeling gratitude for 3 things.

Try this out and let us know how this serves you. If you’ve seen benefit, you may wish to continue this as a way of life and a kick start to improving your structures.

If you’ve gone through the challenge and would like a more advanced version, let us know. We have many ideas. 🙂

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